Blog Post #28 - Draft Thesis Statements

For Blog Post #28 I will be drafting some thesis statements and offering a short discussion on each.

Hunter, Mark. "Focus". 4/22/2010. via Flickr
Attribution 2.0 Generic

Creating a rhetorical analysis thesis statement is broken down into 5 steps in our textbook. Steps 1 and 2 are essentially our cluster map from Blog Post #26 so I have included a link in case you missed mine.

From my cluster map I have chosen the following elements to highlight and focus on:

• Rhetorical Strategies
• Appeals to Logic
• Appeals to Credibility
• Rhetorical Situation
• Author
• Context
• Message/Purpose
• Cultural Values/Ideology
• Rules and Regulations
• Ethical Treatment

Thesis Statement #1

• In an article for the Wall Street Journal, Pia Catton discusses the issue of whipping in horse racing. Published May 25, 2015 it coincided with the seven week process of the Triple Crown which is the most watched horse racing series in America. The topic of whipping pulls at the heartstrings of nearly every American and brings to light a dark side of the industry. Throughout the article, the author has inserted several interviews and quotes from some of the most famous individuals in American horse racing adding to her credibility and gives the perception of unbiased journalism. She continues building that credibility with historical reviews, law and regulation citing and a mixing of interviewees from both sides of the debate. She leads the reader down the path of the issue, arriving at a fork with the conclusion. The expert writing style and tone leaves the reader with only one logical choice and so ends the journey right here she wanted you to be.

Thesis Statement #2

• In an article for the Wall Street Journal, Pia Catton discusses the issue of whipping in horse racing. Published May 25, 2015 it coincided with the seven week process of the Triple Crown which is the most viewed horse racing series in America. The author interviews some of the most notable figures in the sport and analyzes every aspect of the issue giving detailed information to the reader. Through expert knowledge and cited opinion, she builds credibility with the reader and walks a fine line of staying unbiased. With little need to incite an emotional response from the reader due to the cultural bias towards humane treatment, the author builds a strong, credible case for reform. Laws, regulations, expert opinion and insider quotes are used to logically state a need for change that the reader is compelled to agree with.

-- I think both statements are workable but #1 seems to sound more manipulative. I am sure there was personal motivation for the author to write the piece but I got no sense of a forcible push to reform. The text was well done and played upon human emotions to wed the reader to the issue. Even if the purpose was not to illicit a drive for change, the reader feels that way. The experts cited and the overall unbiased tone all give the author the appearance of an information broker and not an activist calling for change.

Reflection:
The first set of thesis statements I conducted a peer review on were Mike Huebener's. The second peer review was Mark Mellott's. I think they both had the same issue I did which was struggling to put our thoughts into a logical sequence that didn't detract from what we would discuss in the body. Mark conquered this by being short and to the point while Mike and myself were more long-winded in our statements. It's also a little different coming up with a thesis statement as compared to a main topic sentence.