Blog Post #35 - Revised Conclusion

For this blog I will be rewriting my conclusion from my Project 2 Draft.

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So Here's to a New End
Once again, I'm not entirely certain that the new conclusion is more successful than its predecessor. I believe I have covered the thesis more completely than I did with the original. I also think I was able to add more of a "picture" about the author, text and future than I did with the first. I would love to receive some feedback from my peers as to which is actually the better ending.


ORIGINAL CONCLUSION

            Without trying to overtly persuade the reader, the text accomplishes it covertly. The style and tone set by the author reminds us of an information paper. She has flawlessly brought together multiple sides of an issue and informed the audience without any bias. Combined with the emotional appeal felt through cultural values the reader is left wanting to bring about change without ever being asked to do so. This is the epitome of rhetoric. Getting your audience to do something or feel something without actually asking them to.

REVISED CONCLUSION

            Getting your audience to do something or feel a certain way without asking them to is the epitome of rhetoric. This analysis has shown how an author can use rhetorical strategy to build a rapport with an audience. By focusing on appealing to logic and credibility through outside sources, the author has removed herself from the text. In doing so, the audience feels they are listening to industry experts and respected organizations instead of a random journalist. Using cultural values and beliefs to her advantage, Pia Catton was able to remove herself from the issue of whipping and relate the information as an unbiased broker. Though the issue is far from being completely resolved, the road ahead has been made clearer to us all.

Blog Post #34 - Revised Introduction

For this blog I will be attempting to rewrite my introduction from Project Draft 2.

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I'm supposed to write about how I believe the revised introduction is more successful than the original. Honestly, I'm not sure that it is. What it is though, is more aerodynamic and lends to further body paragraphs within my analysis. I was able to remove a lot of data that I can now put into another  body paragraph devoted to the author and how she builds credibility with the reader.

ORIGINAL INTRODUCTION
     The article “Horse Racing: How Much Whipping Is Too Much?” written by Pia Catton was published in the Wall Street Journal. The article, written to coincide with the most watched horse race series in America, the run for the Triple Crown, was published on May 25, 2015. The text is a commentary on the current issue of whipping in horse racing and follows on the heels of American Pharoah winning both the Kentucky Derby and Belmont Stakes but under very different uses of the crop by the jockey. Though not directly in the horse racing industry, Pia Catton writes about the subject as a secondary assignment to her normal performing arts pieces. Her lack of expertise is of no consequence as she has interviewed some of the most notable figures in the sport and analyzed every aspect of the issue giving detailed information to the reader. Through expert knowledge and cited opinion, she has built a credibility with the reader and flawlessly walks a tight-rope of staying unbiased. The subject matter requires little help from the author to incite an emotional response from the reader due to the cultural bias towards humane treatment and animal cruelty. The author builds a strong, credible case for reform without having to wave a banner for a cause or rally any support. Her masterful use of keywords and choice of interviewees completely removes any doubt one may have towards her level of expertise in the area of horse racing and the reader is swept along through the article. By the conclusion, the reader is very well informed and puts down the text feeling as though they are now knowledgeable on the subject.

REVISED INTRODUCTION
“The topic of whipping is a recurring problem of perception for horse racing.” (Catton 2016). Pia Catton clearly brings the issue of whipping into focus with her article “Horse Racing: How Much Whipping Is Too Much?” published in the Wall Street Journal May 25th of 2015. Through the use of expert knowledge and cited opinion, she builds credibility with the audience. She also stays unbiased throughout, facilitating her acceptance by readers on both sides of the issue. Her rhetorical strategy of appealing to logic and credibility and not emotions only endears her to the reader more. Pia builds a strong, credible case for reform without ever asking the audience to choose a side. By the conclusion, the reader is well informed, knowledgeable and able to decide for themselves how they feel about the issue.

Blog Post #33 - Reflection on Project 2 Draft

For Blog Post #33 I will be reading through the comments my peers have made on my Project 2 draft.

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Though I had only one of my peers leave comments, Brandon's comments were quite enlightening. It was very helpful that we read my Clarity blog and he used that to help in his review. My effort to try and be more concise meet with good reviews as did my attempt at make it an easier read. I also attempted to stay away from direct quotes and that too was met with a good review and some insight on how to improve with that style. The conclusion is good but Brandon offered some keen analysis as to my staying away from restating the thesis word for word and trying to incorporate more of my own analysis of the piece. Thanks again to Brandon for review.

For my review of my peers, I looked at the draft of Mike Huebener and Brandon Goldenburg.

• Who specifically is going to be reading this essay?
• New and incoming students in the Race Track Industry Program. The program is split into two emphases, business and equine management which means two different types of students with a common passion.
• What biases might my readers have?
• People in the equine racing industry are very protective of it as it has been under some form of attack for several decades. The will probably be biased against anything that could be seen as detrimental to the industry as a whole. They are probably horse lovers, if not animal lovers in general.
• What are their values and expectations?
• People in the program tend to have grown up around horses or horse racing. This indicates a more rural environment in most cases. Rural environments typically produce people with conservative values and mindsets. They are more apt to take someone at their word and are usually friendly until cause to be otherwise shows. They will expect others in the program to have similar values and ideals and due to the small, tight-knit group dynamic, will expect truth and honesty from those inside the program.
• How much information do I need to give my audience?
• Whenever discussing a controversial issue, as much information as possible is a good rule of thumb. The information needs to be free of bias and as all-encompassing as possible. Though not every detail must be presented, being able to answer questions outside what is written is a good idea.
• What kind of language is suitable for this audience?
• I would stay away from too technical of jargon as you have to account for different experience levels. General business type language with more familiarity with the main topic would probably be acceptable.
• What tone should I use with my audience?
• Going back to the environment most of them grew up in, a familiar tone would probably be most effective. The group is small and everybody knows everybody else. I would keep the tone fairly consistent though you may need to change slightly for emphasis of a particular piece of text.

Blog Post #32 - Revise Blog Post #30

For Blog Post #32 I will be editing my Blog Post #30. Please refer back to that post for an update on what was changed.

Thank you.

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Blog Post #31 - Clarity, Part 1

For Blog Post #31 I have selected four topics from our textbook that I believe I could learn more about and improve in my writing.

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• Parallel Ideas
• I often find that with my writing style I tend to emphasis a particular point by using parallel ideas. I more than likely have not balanced them correctly and reading through this chapter has given me new insight on how to incorporate them more completely and clearly for my readers.
• Shifts
• This is an area I know I have made mistakes with. Thankfully my peer reviewers have usually caught it during this class. By shifting inconsistently I am distracting the reader and loosing credibility and their attention. I need to improve my consistency with verb tense and also staying in one mood and voice throughout.
• Emphasis
• Often I find myself trying to cram as much information as I can into a piece for emphasis. For emphasis I should be using shorter sentences and staying away from excessive coordination. I will be making an attempt to improve this trying some of the techniques suggested.
• Wordy Sentences
• Once again, my peer reviewers have pointed out this issue to me. By trying to incorporate as much data as I can I tend to create wordy sentences. Though this is not the same as long sentences, I need to pay closer attention during my own reviews to see if I can cut out some redundancies and avoid using inflated phrases.

Blog Post #30 - Draft of Rhetorical Analysis

For Blog Post #30 I am providing a link to my draft of Project 2.

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The draft is extremely rough and I welcome any and all comments on making it more readable. My thesis is pretty set in stone but how I am attacking the analysis is open to suggestion. What I am trying for is an unbiased view and overall unbiased review of the text. I would ask that while reading, please pay attention to the voice and tense. I have read over it and sometimes it sounds "out of place" but appears grammatically correct.

Thank you for your time and any suggestions/comments.

Jason Wittler

Reflection:
Thanks again to Brandon for is comments during his review of my draft. I think my efforts to enact the four clarity topics I chose was fairly effective. I am still struggling within my style of writing to keep my sentence structure to something other than compound-complex. I'm not sure where I picked that up at but it gets wordy at times. My introduction and conclusion were both well received and that is in large part to short, concise, fact-filled emphasis sentences.

From my review of my peers I have selected a sample of something I've learned.

• Brandon Goldenberg's Project 2 Draft
• "As the previous factor suggested that newly brought-in species can affect the world due to their non-exposure of the world around them, these new species can be more harmful to an ecosystem where it lives than it is beneficial to it."
• Wordy Sentences. The one long sentence is crammed with information that needs to be broken into separate thoughts. One, for ease of clarity. Two, by shortening the sentences you will emphasize the points. Three, by shortening the sentences you will get rid of filler words that clutter the message.
• Mike Huebener's Project 2 Draft
• "To understand the way Dighe laid out his article, looking at the projected audience and context will inform us on which rhetorical strategies he uses and why."
• Who needs to be looking? There is no clear link connecting one idea to the other. To understand....WE need to look or YOU need to look.

Blog Post #29 - Project 2 Outline

For Blog Post #29 I will sharing my outline for Project 2.

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I. The Introduction

• Name of author, name of text, date published, location of publication.
• Timing of the publication, context of the text's publishing

II. The Thesis

• In an article for the Wall Street Journal, Pia Catton discusses the issue of whipping in horse racing. Published May 25, 2015 it coincided with the seven week process of the Triple Crown which is the most viewed horse racing series in America. The author interviews some of the most notable figures in the sport and analyzes every aspect of the issue giving detailed information to the reader. Through expert knowledge and cited opinion, she builds credibility with the reader and walks a fine line of staying unbiased. With little need to incite an emotional response from the reader due to the cultural bias towards humane treatment, the author builds a strong, credible case for reform. Laws, regulations, expert opinion and insider quotes are used to logically state a need for change that the reader is compelled to agree with.

III. The Body Paragraphs

• Rhetorical Situation
• How the appeals to logic and credibility are combined with the sources cited.
• No need for appeals to emotion.
• Rhetorical Strategies
• Using current events to bring the context of "too much whipping" forward.
• Not having to build an emotional response allows for deeper investigation and information.
• Cultural Values / Ideology
• Cultural values and ideology so prevalent there is no need to restate.
• Showing the current rules and regulations are not effective but that there is change coming.

IV. My Analytical Claims

• Overall claim out of the thesis
• The author interviews some of the most notable figures in the sport and analyzes every aspect of the issue giving detailed information to the reader. Through expert knowledge and cited opinion, she builds credibility with the reader and walks a fine line of staying unbiased. With little need to incite an emotional response from the reader due to the cultural bias towards humane treatment, the author builds a strong, credible case for reform.
• Secondary Claims
• By using notable and respected sources, the author builds credibility and shows logical analysis and problem solving.
• There is no need to appeal to emotion as the subject conflicts with cultural values.
• Stating the laws and regulations as they currently stand is used to show where the shortfalls are and how they need to be reformed.

V. The Support for Each Claim

• Overall
• The use of experts and famous persons to offer quotes agreeing with the author's views.
• When an expert says something, people listen and believe they know what they are talking about until proven otherwise.
• Animal cruelty/abuse needs no mention to incite an emotional response from readers due to cultural values and people's beliefs.
• Secondary
• The author has little experience in the industry and covers the sport only as a secondary position. The use of expert interviewees, citations from the most respected organizations in the business and quotes from famous opponents to current practices all reinforce the reader's belief that what they are reading has to be true.
• By stating the inadequacy of current laws and regulations the author prods the reading into realizing that a change needs to take place. The author stays unbiased by showing that even leading experts realize the current rules are not enough. Finally, showing that change is all ready starting shows that it can/should happen elsewhere.

VI. The Conclusion

• Without trying to overtly persuade the reader the text accomplishes this covertly. The style and tone set by the author reminds us of an information paper. Combined with the emotional appeal felt through cultural values the reader is left wanting to bring about change without ever being asked to. This is the epitome of rhetoric. Getting your audience to do something or feel something without actually asking them to.

Blog Post #28 - Draft Thesis Statements

For Blog Post #28 I will be drafting some thesis statements and offering a short discussion on each.

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Creating a rhetorical analysis thesis statement is broken down into 5 steps in our textbook. Steps 1 and 2 are essentially our cluster map from Blog Post #26 so I have included a link in case you missed mine.

From my cluster map I have chosen the following elements to highlight and focus on:

• Rhetorical Strategies
• Appeals to Logic
• Appeals to Credibility
• Rhetorical Situation
• Author
• Context
• Message/Purpose
• Cultural Values/Ideology
• Rules and Regulations
• Ethical Treatment

Thesis Statement #1

• In an article for the Wall Street Journal, Pia Catton discusses the issue of whipping in horse racing. Published May 25, 2015 it coincided with the seven week process of the Triple Crown which is the most watched horse racing series in America. The topic of whipping pulls at the heartstrings of nearly every American and brings to light a dark side of the industry. Throughout the article, the author has inserted several interviews and quotes from some of the most famous individuals in American horse racing adding to her credibility and gives the perception of unbiased journalism. She continues building that credibility with historical reviews, law and regulation citing and a mixing of interviewees from both sides of the debate. She leads the reader down the path of the issue, arriving at a fork with the conclusion. The expert writing style and tone leaves the reader with only one logical choice and so ends the journey right here she wanted you to be.

Thesis Statement #2

• In an article for the Wall Street Journal, Pia Catton discusses the issue of whipping in horse racing. Published May 25, 2015 it coincided with the seven week process of the Triple Crown which is the most viewed horse racing series in America. The author interviews some of the most notable figures in the sport and analyzes every aspect of the issue giving detailed information to the reader. Through expert knowledge and cited opinion, she builds credibility with the reader and walks a fine line of staying unbiased. With little need to incite an emotional response from the reader due to the cultural bias towards humane treatment, the author builds a strong, credible case for reform. Laws, regulations, expert opinion and insider quotes are used to logically state a need for change that the reader is compelled to agree with.

-- I think both statements are workable but #1 seems to sound more manipulative. I am sure there was personal motivation for the author to write the piece but I got no sense of a forcible push to reform. The text was well done and played upon human emotions to wed the reader to the issue. Even if the purpose was not to illicit a drive for change, the reader feels that way. The experts cited and the overall unbiased tone all give the author the appearance of an information broker and not an activist calling for change.

Reflection:
The first set of thesis statements I conducted a peer review on were Mike Huebener's. The second peer review was Mark Mellott's. I think they both had the same issue I did which was struggling to put our thoughts into a logical sequence that didn't detract from what we would discuss in the body. Mark conquered this by being short and to the point while Mike and myself were more long-winded in our statements. It's also a little different coming up with a thesis statement as compared to a main topic sentence.

Blog Post #27 - Analyzing My Audience

For Blog Post #27 I will be analyzing the text I've chosen and providing answers to some questions.

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When you right, it is critical to consider carefully who your readers are and what assumptions and expectations they may have. Assess your readers' needs by asking yourself:

• What are their beliefs and assumptions?
• The majority of Americans believe in humane treatment of animals. There are numerous laws protecting everything from dogs and cats to exotic circus animals. Due to the enactment of laws and the prevalence of animal rights groups and associations in America it can be assumed that most Americans are for the ethical treatment of animals.
• What kind of language is appropriate for them?
• The text was an article in the Wall Street Journal which is read mostly by lower and upper middle class business people. There are small slices of readers from working, underclass and capitalist classes. The two primary reader classes make up nearly 47% of the college graduates in America. The language used reflects these stats by staying away from slang, acronyms and industry specific terms and focuses on common business speech practices. **Statistics taken from US Census Bureau.
• What are the sociopolitical and economic backgrounds?
• For sociopolitical background you can assume an equal cross-section from left to right. Though there may be readers from both far ends of the spectrum. Economically, readers of the WSJ are working class up to capitalist class with family incomes starting around $50K/year and climbing. 
• What position might they take on this issue?
• Since animal cruelty is very much looked down upon across America I believe that the majority of readers, whether vested in the topic or not, would side against unethical treatment of race horses. Even those inside the industry see a need for change and I would assume most readers would also.
• What will they want to know?
• Due to the backgrounds and status of the majority of readers, I believe they would want facts and data prior to making a decision. The emotion tie to animal cruelty may minimize that as people who are emotionally vested in a topic/issue require less incentive to action then those who are not.
• In general, how can they best be persuaded?
• By using facts and data from respected sources the issue can be laid out in a fair and balanced way. The emotional side of the story will only heighten the sense in the reader that something must be done. Being credible is key as most reader will disregard content that is falsified or shows signs of bias.

Blog Post #26 - Cluster of Horse Racing: How Much Whipping Is Too Much?

In Blog Post #26 I have created a cluster map for my Project 2 topic.

Legend:
Yellow - Main Topic
Orange - Key Rhetorical Elements
Light Blue - Breakdown of Key Rhetorical Elements
Red - Highlights of the Breakdown

What I attempted to do with my cluster map was recreate the elements the author used in promoting the topic. Once I was able to identify the key elements I sought to determine how the author approached those elements. Lastly, I took the approaches used and highlighted the specifics that answered "how" they highlighted the approach to the key elements.

Blog Post #25 - Analyzing Rhetorical Strategies in Horse Racing: How Much Whipping Is Too Much?

In Blog Post #25 I will analyzing the rhetorical strategies used in my chosen text.

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Appeals to Credibility or Character [Quote directly from your text when appropriate]

• Which items on the bulleted list of strategies on page 183 can you recognize in your text?
• References to credible sources. This strategy is used several times using keywords to ensure the reader knows the person making the source is extremely credible. Hall of Fame jockey, Veteran jockey and naming of sources of high standing in the industry.
• Word Choice. With deeper analysis I have seen the use of keywords to promote emotion about different ideas/values. Words that conjure images of animal cruelty (whip, strike, sting, brutal) are associated to thoughts about things that need change. In reference to what needs to be done, the use of words softens (encourage, safety, urge).
• Appeals to values or beliefs shared by the audience. Without directly writing about animal cruelty the text still puts that in the mind of the reader which leads the reader down the path to the need for change.
• How do these strategies affect the audience's perception of the author's credibility and character?
• By citing credible sources and prestigious organizations a weight is lent to the piece making it seem extremely valid. It also gives the impression that the author is in the know with key movers and shakers, thus giving more credibility to the text.
• By talking with the chosen sources there is an air of unbiased information as there are from all parts of the industry.
• How does the use of these strategies impact the effectiveness of the text's overall message?
• The text is extremely effective in getting its message across. You almost feel like you are hearing the gospel truth. The people interviewed, organizations giving input and general informative feel to it keep you from feeling you are being talked into something.
• Does the author seem to have any biases or assumptions that might impact his or her credibility?
• The way it is presented and the tone used throughout seem to make it unbiased. By stepping back and analyzing it you see there is a slant but you don't notice it upon first reading. That definitely lends to more credibility for the author.

Appeals to Emotion [Quote directly from your text when appropriate]

• Which items on the bulleted list of strategies on page 184 can you recognize in your text?
• Personal stories or other emotionally compelling narratives. "It's really changed a lot in the last 25 years," he said. "There were numerous riders that were brutal with their sticks."
• Shocking statistics. "Espinoza appeared to strike the horse more than 30 times."
• What emotional response is the author attempting to create?
• The author wants the reader to feel upset about jockeys who use excessive whipping. There is also a need to understand that the crop is necessary for safety but regulation over it's use must be in effect.
• What is the actual result?
• At the end you feel well informed. You also feel that there is a need for change.
• Are these emotions effective or ineffective for this particular audience and rhetorical situation?
• The use of emotional responses to the text is very effective for this audience or any other that were to read it. The number of credible sources corroborating the values and ideals put forth make you agree without a second thought.
• How do these emotional appeals affect the credibility of the author or the logic of the text?
• They are layered inside the text in such a way that you don't feel the author is attempting to manipulate you into feeling one way or the other. Without feeling pushed into making somebody else's choice the author's credibility isn't tarnished in any way.

Appeals to Logic [Quote directly from your text when appropriate]

• Which items on the bulleted list of appeals on page 184-5 can you recognize in your text?
• Interviews. Several key figures in the industry are interviewed and agree with the text.
• Expert opinions. Same as the interviews. The reader is seeing high profile figures agreeing with and commenting on the need for change.
• Historical records. Though not data, historical references are made to the way things used to be and how those old ways don't hold with current cultural norms.
• What response is the author attempting to create by employing these strategies?
• This lends credibility to the text as a whole. By using the data she did and presenting it the way she did, the reader feels they are making there own choices about the issue. This is a very effective strategy in writing of this type.
• What is the actual result?
• The reader feels that there truly is a need for change from current practices.
• Are these strategies effective or ineffective for this particular audience and rhetorical situation?
• Effective. With the cultural values/beliefs of the audience, this type of text is very effective at making reader's emotion tied to the issue. Being tied to the issue makes you feel compelled to do something about it.
• Which items on the list of logical fallacies on pages 185-6 can you recognize in your text?
• False Analogy: There is one piece where the author mentions that if a horse does not respond to a crop, they are done running. There are many reasons for a horse to not respond to a crop, not having any more gas in the tank is only one of them.
• What effect does the use of these logical fallacies have on the reader?
• At first glance I didn't even realize what I was seeing in this text. The use of logical fallacies immediately looses credibility for the author as the reader now thinks the author is trying to manipulate them. Though the use of logical fallacies can get your point across with some of the audience it usually ends up alienating them from the rest of your text.

Blog Post #24 - Analyzing Message in Horse Racing: How Much Whipping Is Too Much?

For Blog Post #24 I will be providing answers to the questions of Message and Purpose.

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• Out of all the bullet points on page 182, which seem most relevant to your text's message and purpose? Why?
• I think the closest bullets point to my chosen text are advocate for change, inform the reader about a topic that is often misunderstood, explore a topic and express an idea or opinion. I chose advocate for change not because the text is calling for it, but it highlights an issue that many know needs modification. The topic is often misunderstood in that the casual viewer may not understand exactly what is happening or what is needed for safety. Expressing an idea or opinion once again is not direct. The cultural view of animal cruelty is touched is brought forward, maybe as a desire by the author to get more people into making the issue more of a focal point. Explore a topic is definitely directly related as the text reviews the historical use, current issues around and worldly view of the use of a crop in horse racing.
• Which bullet points do not seem relevant to your text's message and purpose? Why?
• Analyze, synthesize, or interpret seems to be the furthest removed though there is some analysis and interpretation in exploring a topic. There is no A leads to B leads to C analysis and no synthesizing of several points into one. Respond to a particular occasion or text is also not as relevant as the others, though the author does refer to current events in the text.
• Are there nuances and layers to the message the author/speaker is trying to get across? If so, what are they? If not, why not?
• There are a couple of messages I believe the author is trying to convey. One is that the majority of the industry agrees there is an issue but doesn't have a silver bullet to fix the issue. The second message is that there reform in the works. The text refers to a couple of new methods that are being tested and laws that going into affect that will bring a welcomed change.

Blog Post #23 - Analyzing My Own Assumptions

For Blog Post #23 I will be providing answers to four questions from our assigned reading.

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Analyzing the Text's Relationship to Our Own Cultural Assumptions

• What cultural or social values, beliefs, etc., do we share with the society or culture in which the text was written? Why have they endured?
• Since this is written in America for American readers, I will restate our current cultural values and beliefs. As Americans, we do not tolerate the abuse of animals. Even when it comes to the animals we eat, wear or see at the zoo, we as a nation want the animals to be treated well and humanely. Since moving from an agrarian society, are farm animals have become pets and are now endeared to us. We approach the treatment of our animals as we would fellow human beings.
• What cultural or social values, beliefs, etc., do we not share? Why not?
• Though there are some in America that do not share the belief that animals should be treated humanely, that population is extremely small. Having been to places where there are no pets and all animals are an afterthought at best, I prefer our current beliefs and values. We as humans should be stewards of the environment but that is not a shared belief.
• If the text is written in a culture distant or different from our own, what social values, beliefs, etc., connect to or reflect our own culture? What social values, beliefs, etc., can we not see in our own culture?
• Not really applicable as it is our own culture. Though it does show that even in a shared belief there can still be variation on how that belief should be enforced/handled. Even something like all men being equal took 1000s of years and we still haven't gotten it perfect yet.
• If the text is written in our culture but in a different historical time, how have the social values, beliefs, etc., developed or changed over time?
• In the not so distant past, America was based on farming. Ever single American used a horse on a daily basis. To plow the field or pull the trolley car, horses permeated ever aspect of American life. With the advent of the automobile and internal combustion engine, the horse gave way to machinery and slowly slipped out of the minds of most Americans. No longer is it the animal that pulls are wagons and takes us to the grocery store, it's now something we may physically see maybe once or twice a year. Horses are no longer a sign of wealth, prosperity, culture. Most view them as something that used to be a farm animal but is now for girls to ride if their parents are rich. We treat them like a pet and not a beast of burden.

Revise Blog Post #23

I was able to view and comment on both Samuel Goldenberg and Eric Hannah. The biggest problem I see as a writer attempting to be completely unbiased is attempting to be unbiased. Any time I make a rationalization about how things used to be or how a belief or value has changed over time, the chance for bias to creep in is there. Without proof of what the values of a society were or implicit evidence of how things were, I almost have to include bias within my own interpretation of what those values, beliefs or events consisted of. Even if you do find evidence of a particular thing, you have to consider whether it was a majority or minority before quantifying it.

Blog Post #22 - Analyzing My Audience

For Blog Post #22 I will be providing detailed answers to the three "Questions We Might Ask When Analyzing the Text's Relationship to Its Social or Cultural Setting" from Writing Public Lives page 79.

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For this blog, keep in mind that I am writing for incoming students in my program who need to understand the rhetorical construction and situation of arguments in my field.

• What values, ideas, norms, beliefs, even laws of the culture play an important role in the text?
• The values of animal welfare are forefront in this article. In support of her position, she uses norms and beliefs that are commonly held by most Americans as to the fair treatment and welfare of animals. She also references the state laws that currently govern the industry in reference to the use of the whip. All of these aspects play an important role in the text and assist the author in guiding the reader to the logical conclusion.
• Does the text address these cultural values, beliefs, etc., directly (by directly mentioning and responding to them) or indirectly (by presenting a scenario or narrative that addresses them)?
• Both direct and indirect mentioning are used. There is direct mentioning of the current issue and keywords associated with it throughout the text. Direct mentioning is also used to inform the reader of the activity as it currently stands. The cultural values and norms are kept as indirect and I believe the reader does this as there is no reason to restate how 98+% of Americans feel. The opening paragraph does an outstanding job of bringing the cultural values to light immediately and the text never lets the reader divert.
• What is the relationship of the text to the values, beliefs, etc.? Is it critical of these aspects of the culture? Is it supportive? Does it seek to modify these aspects of the culture in a certain way?
• This text is mainstream with the values and beliefs of our culture. I believe it is a critical aspect of our culture as how we treat our animals often reflects how we treat one another. I text is not seeking to modify an aspect of our culture but seeks more for us to actually act on our beliefs and move to action in defense of them.

Blog Post #21 - Cultural Analysis of Horse Racing: How Much Whipping Is Too Much?

For Blog Post #21 I have chosen an article by Pia Catton in the Wall Street Journal. This is to be my sole focus for my project in Module 3. I have analyzed this text for cultural messages following the instructions from our textbook. Below are my detailed answers to some of the questions in Number 5.

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In helping to understand my answers, here is what I believe the thesis of the author is:

• whipping is a recurring problem of perception for horse racing

5. Finally, looking back at these passages, freewrite for a moment about the connection between the cultural keywords, the passages that you have listed, and the thesis.

• How do these keyword help support the argument that the author is making?
• I have noticed the author's use of keywords associated with both the topic of whipping and in where she thinks it should go. Keywords that play upon the cultural values of animal cruelty and animal welfare conjure mental images of pain. The words whip, ugly, strike, sting, abusive and brutal are all involved with the message that the current state of whipping is unacceptable. Other keywords are used when she refers to where she feels the industry should be. Words like encouragement, safety, flagging, reminder and cue. There is another set of keywords she uses to validate and build credibility for the people she has interviewed. This builds an assurance in the mind of the reader to the validity and credibility of the article. Keywords to build this view are Hall of Fame, veteran, champion, animal-rights activist and the names of respected associations in the industry.
• Why might an audience be more likely to support this argument if it is connected to these values?
• The brings authority and validity to the sources she has quoted by using keywords that give the reader the appearance of an expert. When the reader feels that an expert is making the statement they are more apt to believe it is "right". Other keywords are used to add to the negative connotation and build an emotional response against the use of the whip. She then reinforces those feelings with quotes by experts mirroring the opinion. Keywords are then used to guide the reader to a possible solution to issue by softening the tone and ensuring a kindlier more gentle approach. The reader is left with a very distinct impression of what should be done.

Blog Post #20 - Evaluation of Rhetorical Situations

For Blog Post #20 I have chosen 3 different examples of opinionated public speech by someone in my field that I find interesting.

The first item I came across was by the Paulick Report. Since horse racing has no president or CEO, Ray Paulick took it upon himself to compile a "Horse Racing State of the Union for 2015?". It is nothing more than a series of tweet responses, but gives a good cross section of what people in and around the industry are thinking.

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• Evaluative paragraph about the text's author/speaker.
• Going off of nothing more than what is in the text, the only thing I can say is that the author is a leading member in the industry (media). The Paulick Report is well respected and credible source of information in the industry and has been for some time.
• Evaluative paragraph about text's audience.
• The primary audience is anyone who follows the Paulick Report or anyone interested in horse racing. The individual Tweets from the audience are varied and geared toward others reading the same page but take various sides of various issues.
• Evaluative paragraph about the text's context.
• Date: 01/21/2015
• Medium: Internet (website)
• Shaping Events: Obama's State of the Union address, continued yearly review
• Backgrounds: Americans interested in the sport of horse racing
• Location: n/a
• Similar texts: unknown

The second article I came across was written by a man at the University of Sydney in Australia. His "There are no winners: horse racing is unethical" is a completely one-sided look at the race industry. I read through the piece looking for any facts and could only find a single fact. One region in Spain has actually banned bullfights. Whether I agree with someone or not I still find it very difficult to listen to someone tell twisted truths, half-truths or parts of the truth to make a point. In my opinion, people's opinions are worth about as much as the hair on my ass.

• Evaluative paragraph about the text's author/speaker.
• The co-authors are teachers at the University of Sydney (one in Political Lecturing, the other in Digital Cultures Program). I would assume they live somewhere near the campus in Sydney. Though there positions speak of credibility, it has nothing to do with the industry of horse racing.
• Evaluative paragraph about text's audience.
• The article was linked to the topics of horse racing, ethics and animal welfare. The primary audience is any like-minded individual or those uninformed about the industry. There are many "scare tactic" phrases similar to what I used in the military during Psychological Operations in eastern Afghanistan. There is a constant rehash back to death, cruelty and pain and a very well put together use of cognitive distortion keys.
• Evaluative paragraph about the text's context.
• Date: 6-21-2012
• Medium: Internet (ABC News Australia)
• Shaping Events: none that I am aware of
• Backgrounds: I believe Australia has roughly the same number of major languages as the United States does. Culturally, they aren't as far removed from an agricultural society as the U.S. is, but by only a couple decades.
• Location: n/a
• Similar texts: unknown

The third article that caught my attention was about the use of a crop in racing. The article, "Use of the Whip in racing" talks about several issues of interest. There is no opinion just a statement of fact and a call to make the sport safer and more appropriate. There are several questions that are raised that will need to be answered before any consensus can be made, but overall, an interesting read.

• Evaluative paragraph about the text's author/speaker.
• Though the name of the author is unknown it appears he/she has written for the World Horse Welfare charity before. I get the impression they are tied with International horse racing due to the knowledge and familiarity used.
• Evaluative paragraph about text's audience.
• The article was published my an animal rights group but is non-committal in it's voice which makes me believe the organization has members/audience from all parts of the industry. There are references to popular events that most people would know and all were shocked about.
• Evaluative paragraph about the text's context.
• Date: unknown. Possibly the summer of 2011.
• Medium: Internet (World Horse Welfare website)
• Shaping Events: 2011 Grand National, 2011 BHA symposium
• Backgrounds: I am not positive, but I believe the charity is worldwide but based in England. Groups like this usually have widespread audiences, so no definitive on cultural/ethnic backgrounds.
• Location: n/a
• Similar texts: unknown

The fourth article that I looked at "Horse Racing: How Much Whipping Is Too Much?", talks about the current debate in horse racing over the use of the whip. There is a statement of the current issue as it stands, interviews with multiple, credible sources inside the industry and an unbiased overview.

• Evaluative paragraph about the text's author/speaker.
• The author, Pia Catton, is a journalist for the Wall Street Journal who covers the arts and horse racing. She currently lives in New York City and has an interest in developing the arts at the community level in small towns. In the racing industry, she is a newcomer with a vested interest. She graduated from Kenyon College and has worked in journalism at the New York Post, New York Sun and now Wall Street Journal.
• Evaluative paragraph about text's audience.
• The Wall Street Journal is the largest publication in the United States. It primarily covers American economic and international business. The main audience would be readers of the Journal who also find horse racing of interest.
• Evaluative paragraph about the text's context.
• Date: May 25, 2015
• Medium: The Wall Street Journal (print & internet)
• Shaping Events: 2015 Triple Crown, current whipping debate
• Backgrounds: Business people, middle and upper classes in America. The is a high number of people in the U.S. against animal cruelty and usually a public outcry against such acts. The Triple Crown is the biggest public draw for horse racing in the U.S.
• Location: New York City (local), but readership is nation-wide
• Similar texts: Any newspaper or magazine covering similar articles.

Blog Post #19 - Developing a Research Question

For Blog Post #19 I will be looking deeper into the debates and arguments people in my field are having. I will be looking at some different research questions that I might enjoy finding answers about.

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During my many online searches for Project 1, I came across a number of other tidbits of data that caught my attention but weren't in line with my topic. I've gone back and found a few of those that I like to go further down the rabbit hole with.

• Do trainers give horses time to properly recover in between races?
• A reason many trainers turn to substances and drugs is to help the athlete recover quicker and get to the next race. The industry is based on money and those that win get the lion's share. Is there a better way than current industry norms?
• Is the industry's allowing the use of drugs causing inferior animals to breed?
• Thirty or more years ago, a horse would have a career that spanned nearly a decade. Today, for the winners, that career may span 2-3 years. Once a horse proves it can win on the track, owners quickly put them to pasture and reap the rewards from stud fees (which often eclipse race winnings). If these horses were allowed to run for longer careers, would we weed out genetic deficiencies that we are seeing on a regular basis? Is the shortened career to blame for passing on bad genes?
• Should the industry be regulated by the USADA?
• Currently horse racing is legal in 38 states, each with it's own set of rules on everything from drugs to track make up. Would putting all the states under the umbrella of one ruling jurisdiction help or hinder the industry?
• Is horse racing animal cruelty?
• While an interesting topic I think there is just too much opinion to ever make an educated decision about this. There is no way to prove one side or the other and the broad nature begs too many follow on questions that would need be answered.

Blog Post #18 - Reflection on Project 1

In Blog Post #18 I will be reflecting on my work with Project 1.

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• What challenges did I face during the Quick Reference Card project and how did I deal with them?
• The biggest challenged I faced was trying to stay completely biased throughout the writing. I did not want any of my personal opinion coming through so the reader could form their on conclusions about the topic. I was able to accomplish this through lots of review by myself and peers. Correcting anything that might sound even a little slanted.
• What successes did I experience on the project and how did they happen?
• My biggest success was actually creating an unbiased piece. Any future successes would be anybody who reads it and is able to continue on fact-finding and coming to a logical conclusion. Getting the piece unbiased relied on my peers and myself proofing it for any sliver of opinion on my part.
• What kinds of arguments, rhetorical strategies, design choices and writing practices did I find the most effective for my project? Why?
• I think the one big take away for myself is how I laid all the information before me and picked and chose which ones helped best to make my point. Having the map in front of me was a great help, but finding the right path to the destination was a great culmination. There's such much information available that you want to fit into the paper and weeding through it to find the nuggets is a chore. Putting a piece like this together like a puzzle was new for me and also something I'd like to get better at.
• What kinds of arguments, rhetorical strategies, design choices and writing practices did I find were not effective for my project? Why?
• My typical style of creating an outline then filling it in as I get the data was semi-helpful but I eventually moved to a different style. While the outline may work for other projects in the future, I found it quite cumbersome for this one. I think it works much better when you all ready have a good idea of what you want to say beforehand.
• How was the writing process for this project similar to other school writing experiences I've had in the past?
• The process was similar to other things I've done with short deadlines and a structured process. Though the processes differed greatly there is still a structure to it which I like having as a constraint.
• How was the writing process for this project different to other school writing experiences I've had in the past?
• How we approached this project was completely new for me. All of my past work had been based on building a framework than filling in the gaps. I equate this process more to open a puzzle box then figuring out where the pieces need to go.
• Would any of the skills I practiced on this project be useful in my other coursework? Why or why not?
• Being open to trying new styles is a big take-away. Just because I was familiar with the old way of doing things, I always opted for it. With time permitting, I can see myself looking to new styles and new approaches with my future work.

Project #1 - Horse Racing and Lasix

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For Project #1 I have put together a Quick Reference Guide detailing the controversy over the use of Lasix in horse racing. I hope you are able to gather enough information to make your own decisions about this issue.

Thank you...
link to article

Blog Post #17 - Identifying Basic Grammar Patterns

For Blog Post #17 I have chosen my longest paragraph and used the comment feature to identify several grammar patterns.

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Here is the link to the article.

Reflection on my findings:

• The sentence purpose was 99% declarative. I think this is mostly due to the writing being for information rather than entertainment. By trying to stay unbiased, I have not used exclamatory or interrogative sentence purposes.
• I have used compound-complex sentences everywhere. This probably has an adverse effect on the reader and I may need to rethink how to get the facts across without running-on.
• After reviewing the grammar (and thanks to my peers for reviewing) I believe the piece is in one voice.
• I think I could try and simplify overall. Not to say dumb it down, but make it easier for the reader. May be tricky with trying to show factual data, but could pay some dividends.

Blog Post #16 - Reflection on Project 1 Draft

For Blog Post #16 we reviewed two of our peers Project 1 Drafts. I will also be discussing what I've learned from reviews of my own Project 1 Draft.

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For this review I was asked to look at both Mark Mellott's and Caleb Wiley's Project 1 Drafts. Unfortunately, Caleb didn't have anything posted at the time; however, I was able to review Mark's QRG on Fracking.

• Mark provided an incredibly well thought out and put together QRF on fracking. Overall the piece was insightful and provided enough information for anyone to understand the issue. Other than some minor tweaks for clarity and possible moving of ideas for reader ease, I had very little to offer him that he wasn't all ready trying to work through. He stuck with his chosen style throughout the piece and the flow, for the most part, was well structured.

Mark made several key and valuable comments concerning my Project 1 Draft on the use of Lasix in horse racing. I all ready have plans on incorporating many of his comments in my revision. With his insight I am better able to answer the following questions.

• What do I hope to achieve with this essay? Am I trying to persuade the reader of something? Inform them of a particular perspective? Lead them to take a specific action? How might they know what my goals are?
• My hope for this essay was to inform readers about the facts surrounding the use of Lasix in horse racing. I am not trying to persuade anyone to one side or the other of the debate. I have tried very hard to share an unbiased look at the controversy as a whole without giving a trace of my own personal opinion. My ultimate hope is that a reader would ingest this information and hopefully dig deeper into it before formulating their own opinion
• What are the requirements of the assignment? Do I meet them?
• For this assignment I was tasked with composing a draft of a QRG on the controversy I chose which was the use of Lasix in horse racing. I believe that I have clearly explained the controversy, who's involved and saying what and why people are upset about it. I have also provided key pieces of information to set the basis for the controversy giving the reader an unbiased look at the facts of the drug and what it does. With that, I believe I have meet the requirements of the assignment.
• Am I making an argument or simply stating the obvious?
• Actually, I don't believe that I am doing either of these. All my QRG is doing is providing information about the subject of the controversy and allowing readers to make their own opinions.
• Does my essay have a thesis? Is it easy to locate? Does it reflect my purpose and arguments?
• My thesis is ensuring you know all the facts before making a decision instead of listening to what others want you to hear. I believe my introduction makes the statement though I make no reference as to what my purpose of writing this QRG is.
• How do I support my thesis? Do I make specific claims and use compelling evidence?
• I support my thesis by provided information validated by unbiased industry experts and research organizations. I make no specific claims other than what has been scientifically tested. With those tests, I have included a consensus statement from a panel of expert reviewing the scientific process of those tests. I hope that by stating the facts surrounding the issue it is compelling enough to make the reader want to dig deeper.
• Are my ideas developed? Do I progress through my argument carefully, patiently, and with enough detail?
• Honestly, I could probably make this a 400 page paper if given the time and ability to do my own interviews and investigations. I feel the process is too broad brush and doesn't provide nearly the detail I would prefer. It is possible that due to my intimate nature with the controversy I feel compelled to go further and provide more than the QRG style allows.

Blog Post #15 - Integrating a Quote

Blog Post #15 - Integrating a Quote

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So I have pulled the following quotes from an article that I believe help define/refine what I'm trying to say. The colors I used are more of an importance rating than anything else.

Yellow = relates more to the sides of the issue

Green = relates to deeper issue OUTSIDE of the Lasix controversy

Blue = direct relation to the human issue I'm having a problem writing.

A question of welfare?

Other prominent figures, however, approach the issue from another angle – that the very public debate surrounding Lasix is overshadowing efforts to make changes within the industry that would be more critical to racehorse safety and welfare.

Maggi Moss, who owns a large string of horses from her base in Iowa and is a long-time animal-rights advocate, said:

“There are too many unsound horses running – horses that need breaks, horses that should not be running and are having soundness problems masked by race-day or pre-race medications,” she said. “What about discussing shockwaving and multiple injecting? What about discussing breeding unsound horses?

“What I see is a real problem as to the welfare of racehorses is that horses can have no after-life or pain-free life due to this sort of abuse. I do not understand why it’s OK to use cortisone or shockwaving or new boutique drugs, never giving horses breaks and continuing to run unsound horses, and then [I] try to understand how Lasix became so urgent and the topic of the day. Shouldn’t the welfare of the horses be the concern?”

From <http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2014/aug/31/lasix-drug-debate-bleeding-horse-racing>

Figuring out how best to incorporate these, or whether they will be used at all, is going to be a little tricky. Putting them into context while still having it synergize with the QRF isn't just a straight-forward act.

Blog Post #14 - Draft of Quick Reference Guide

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For Blog Post #14 I linking my Draft Project #1 for my peers reviews.

I have posted this fairly early and will be working on it, probably right up till the deadline. My writing process involves creating an outline then building the work around that outline, all in one document. So, it will seem messy, it will seem unpolished and it will probably be difficult to navigate in and around but please take a lot and feel free to leave any comments you may have. I'm a big boy and can take criticism so please be open and honest.
- Thank you.

Blog Post #13 - Summary of Hoofing It

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For Blog Post #13 I have selected one of the longer articles from my Annotated Bibliography Blog Post #10 to summarize using the method detailed in our textbook.

I will summarizing the article "Hoofing It" by Lexi Pandell which originally appeared in Wired Magazine.

1. Paragraph Summaries.
1. Historical review of the 2014 Triple Crown chase up to the Belmont.
2. Results and comments after the race.
3. Introduction to topic of post-race recovery and synopsis of race schedule.
4. Review of the 2015 Triple Crown chase up to the Belmont.
5. Clinical analysis of high-intensity exercise recovery for humans and equines.
6. Issue with equines and recovery.
7. Clinical review of what an equine goes through after a race.
8. Recovery differences between humans and equines.
9. Introduction of the issue of bleeding in equines and the use of Lasix.
10. Issues with the use of Lasix.
11. Joe Pagan's solution to offset the use of Lasix.
12. Possible result of Pagan's solution.
13. Difficulties associated with the third leg of the Triple Crown.
14. Continuation of the difficulties particularly towards equines.
15. Benefits of not competing in all three legs of the Triple Crown.
16. Skeletal microdamage during racing.
17. How the equine body copes with this damage.
18. How Lasix effects how the equine body recuperates.
19. Correlation between recovery and strict schedule of Triple Crown.
20. Recap of the possible outcomes for the 2015 Triple Crown.
2. Revise list to consolidate issues/ideas
1. Competing for the Triple Crown is a grueling task that requires its participants to be at their best to handle the rigors of the fast-paced race schedule that minimizes recovery time for the participants.. The favored method by trainers in the United States of preparing and keeping an athlete sound with the use of Lasix is a double-edged sword but there are possible solutions that may lead to increased health and safety for the horses.
3. By taking out the historical/current picture preamble I believe I have focused down to the main point of emphasis.
4. For my peer comparison I looked at the work done by Brandon Goldenberg. He has put a lot more information into each of his paragraph summaries whereas I kept mine to one sentence. I see both ways being valid depending on the style of article you are summarizing. For both steps 2 and 3 I see similarities in our approach the difference being he added comments in step 3 where I did not. I like his approach and would use a similar style to his in different situations (i.e. using a subject I am unfamiliar with; lengthy paragraphs). Highlight of main topic is key to both of the blog posts.

Blog Post #12 - QRGs: the Genre

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For Blog Post #12 I was asked to peruse 5 different examples of Quick Reference Guides (QRGs)  and refer to details within them to answer the following questions.

• What do the conventions of this genre - the Quick Reference Guide - seem to be?
• Each of the QRGs is written to provide information to the reader. They all use a type of listing system for the main topics in helping to define their talking points. The listing systems vary, from numbered to people's names, but each utilizes it. They also seem to present data without bias, though the Presidential rundown deviates from this a little.
• How are those conventions defined by the author's formatting and design choices?
• For the stem cell article, the author breaks down the list by types of stem cells. The author for the Gamergate piece breaks the article into headlines in a logical chronological order. The article on Puerto Rico debt using numbers in an apparent highest priority scheme. The Sochi Olympic ceremony is divided chronological by appearance of the items needing further articulation. Finally, the 2016 Presidential who's who is broken down by political party and then by individual candidate with a repeated data set for each.
• What does the purpose of these QRGs seem to be?
• Each of the QRGs is designed to provide further information on a given topic. The appear to meant for informational purposes only.
• Who is the intended audience for these different QRGs? Are they all intended for similar audiences? Or different? How and why?
• Each articles seems intended for general public use. They are providing information to any reader who would like to know data on the given topic. Though the topics vary and are probably geared toward one demographic more than another, they all represent information. It would be hard to imagine that a large percentage of people would be worried about Gamergate and also Puerto Rico's debt situation, the articles make no differentiation as to who they are intended for other than topic. The styles made be more geared toward certain types though. For instance, the stem cell article is written very analytically with jargon and photos you would find in a biology class while the Gamergate article looks like a Pop-Culture piece referencing tending issues of the fringe.

Reflections after peer review:

• After reviewing my peers perspectives on QRFs, I have started to rethink my views on intended audiences. I still believe that any information is for general consumption but as an author you need to tailor your work to the majority of readers to keep interest in the topic and you. None of the QRFs we viewed were identical. Each was styled a different way and rather than this being due to the author's whims I'm know thinking it is also including the preferences or expectations of the majority of the readers. 
• The review of my peers work definitely opened me up to some new ways of thinking and changed how I will approach similar pieces in the future. I would like to thank those who I commented on and commend their excellent insight.
• The peers I reviewed.
• Mark Mellott
• Sayanna Molina
• Nicole Nelson