Blog Post #49 - Refection on Project 3 Draft

Leth-Olsen, Thomas. "broken". 3/16/2013. via Flickr
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I looked at the draft projects of the following peers:
Brandon Goldenberg
Mark Mellott

Though I have not seen any comments on my draft, I can tell you this was a disaster. My first mistake was tackling a topic that has no solution. In the 170 years of this debate, there has never been a solution found and though I do have ideas on how to work towards a resolution, I find it very hard to belief I am the first to do so. There just isn't enough evidence out there to prove one way or another what is the best option to take. I have read the only two studies that have been done on the subject and neither did anything but raise more questions. There needs to be proof, one or the other, and I don't know how to make that happen.

1. What was the purpose and audience of your original paper? How successfully did it achieve that purpose and reach that audience?

• My original purpose was to create a document that pushed the horse racing industry into conducting the first definitive study on the use of riding crops and their effect or non-effect on the horse. I then wanted to introduce additional ways in which the industry must change in order to garner support from the public. I believe my attempt was a total flop! The study I have in mind would take years to do properly and would require the participation of many, at odds organizations. The basis I proceeded on is that there can be no proper change without the knowledge necessary to make that change. Though I still believe this, the scope is dwarfing in it's complexity.

2. Why are you revising this paper?

• Because it doesn't do what I want it to do. I very much doubt that I alone would be able to pull something like this off. Just setting up the test subjects would require a mammoth effort that cuts into an industry all ready struggling to financially cover itself. Toning it down and making it a plea for change seems a more prudent move.

3. Whom are you revising for? Get solid answers to the Questions of Audience Awareness.

• The audience is still The Jockey Club and TOBA. Those are the only organizations that have the ability to make the changes I am proposing. They also have the ability and funds available to make the study a reality. There needs to be a lot more information and quantitative data put into it before anyone would take it seriously though.

4. How will the following aspects of your paper change?

• Length
• Other projects that I have seen that are similar to my proposal are in the hundreds of pages long with more than half being data collected to support the movement.
• Format
• One format will not be enough. I will need to use media from print, video, presentation, etc. to truly cover the entire issue. For this class and this paper though, I will stick to a "white paper" format.
• Appearance
• It needs to be very professional and look like it was clinically produced.
• Use of evidence
• This is the toughest one. The evidence/data that I would need is on the scale of an entire college at a university pooling its resources for a 1-2 year test/study. I can include evidence on various pieces but my overall plan requires one definitive study to capture the evidence for one issue.
• Introduction and conclusion
• Really need to make sure the conclusion sums it up in an impactful way. There is so much bias out there and to cut through it is a monumental undertaking. Just getting somebody to take the time and listen/read would be a huge step in the right direction. The industry is notoriously slow to make changes and expecting that to be different is irrational.
• Structure of your argument
• I think the structure is correct. I believe I am approaching the subject matter the right way and the best way to ensure bias doesn't creep in. Like I've said above though, the data to support the argument just doesn't exist yet.
• Depth of your argument
• Honestly, I'm probably barely scratching the surface. This issue has existed for 170 years. My 3 pages aren't going to finalize it my any stretch of the imagination. But I do believe there is a path to true resolution and I will continue to try and figure it out.